1 00:00:02,336 --> 00:00:04,403 [ALF burps] 2 00:00:04,405 --> 00:00:05,904 Stomach number four? 3 00:00:05,906 --> 00:00:10,042 Three. Number four still hasn't digested that Reebok. 4 00:00:11,712 --> 00:00:13,846 - Hi, everyone. - 'Hi, dad.' 5 00:00:13,848 --> 00:00:17,383 Gentlemen, start your enzymes. 6 00:00:17,385 --> 00:00:18,851 I'll get dinner. 7 00:00:18,853 --> 00:00:20,486 I'll help. 8 00:00:20,488 --> 00:00:23,589 - I'm sorry I'm late. - Don't tell me. 9 00:00:23,591 --> 00:00:26,025 That new guy at work held you up again. 10 00:00:26,027 --> 00:00:29,628 Yeah. Once that Jim starts talking to us 11 00:00:29,630 --> 00:00:31,196 it's just impossible to get away. 12 00:00:31,198 --> 00:00:34,500 This time I actually had my hand on the car door 13 00:00:34,502 --> 00:00:36,668 before he got me. 14 00:00:36,670 --> 00:00:38,237 Who is this guy? 15 00:00:38,239 --> 00:00:40,506 The idiot son of the boss? 16 00:00:40,508 --> 00:00:43,709 No, he's just an idiot. 17 00:00:44,912 --> 00:00:46,912 Well, you better not be late tomorrow night. 18 00:00:46,914 --> 00:00:48,881 Or have you forgotten about helping me 19 00:00:48,883 --> 00:00:50,783 put up the satellite dish? 20 00:00:50,785 --> 00:00:53,218 What satellite dish? 21 00:00:53,220 --> 00:00:55,554 Oh. I ordered a satellite dish. 22 00:00:55,556 --> 00:00:57,523 It'll be here tomorrow. 23 00:00:57,525 --> 00:00:59,324 Will you help me put it up? 24 00:00:59,326 --> 00:01:00,859 I'll help you send it back. 25 00:01:00,861 --> 00:01:02,694 Can't, I bought it during their 26 00:01:02,696 --> 00:01:06,632 "Absolutely No Refunds, What Are You, Deaf?" Sale. 27 00:01:06,634 --> 00:01:09,368 Absolutely no refunds? 28 00:01:09,370 --> 00:01:10,736 What are you, deaf? 29 00:01:11,472 --> 00:01:13,705 [theme music] 30 00:01:31,559 --> 00:01:33,759 [music continues] 31 00:01:51,745 --> 00:01:53,745 [music continues] 32 00:02:14,468 --> 00:02:17,870 (Jim) But how many canals are actually being built today? 33 00:02:17,872 --> 00:02:19,671 I really like your car, Willie. 34 00:02:19,673 --> 00:02:20,706 I don't know why people are always 35 00:02:20,708 --> 00:02:22,608 bad-mouthing domestic cars. 36 00:02:22,610 --> 00:02:24,276 There are more important things than good mileage 37 00:02:24,278 --> 00:02:25,611 styling and resale value. 38 00:02:27,114 --> 00:02:28,814 Thank you, Jim. 39 00:02:28,816 --> 00:02:31,216 Please. I keep asking you 40 00:02:31,218 --> 00:02:32,951 call me "Jimbo". 41 00:02:34,488 --> 00:02:36,855 N-no. 42 00:02:36,857 --> 00:02:39,591 Come on. I'm the only Jim you'll ever meet 43 00:02:39,593 --> 00:02:41,293 who'll let you call him "Jimbo". 44 00:02:41,295 --> 00:02:42,494 Live a little, Willie. 45 00:02:42,496 --> 00:02:44,029 I am living. 46 00:02:44,031 --> 00:02:46,865 So, uh, you from California originally? 47 00:02:46,867 --> 00:02:48,700 I was born in Seattle. 48 00:02:48,702 --> 00:02:52,471 I attended school, graduating in 1974 from NYU. 49 00:02:52,473 --> 00:02:53,872 I worked in record promotions 50 00:02:53,874 --> 00:02:56,108 prior to my current job at Social Services. 51 00:02:56,110 --> 00:02:58,911 My hobbies are saving whales and driving my DeLorean. 52 00:03:00,548 --> 00:03:03,916 - That's quite a life. - No book offers yet. Ha ha! 53 00:03:06,020 --> 00:03:08,287 Speaking of your DeLorean.. 54 00:03:08,289 --> 00:03:10,789 Um, when are you gonna get it out of the shop? 55 00:03:10,791 --> 00:03:12,257 I'm in no hurry. 56 00:03:12,259 --> 00:03:15,294 I'd rather they fix it right than fast. 57 00:03:15,296 --> 00:03:16,795 Fast is good, too. 58 00:03:18,232 --> 00:03:20,032 Well.. 59 00:03:20,034 --> 00:03:21,633 Here we are. 60 00:03:21,635 --> 00:03:23,635 This is my apartment. 61 00:03:23,637 --> 00:03:26,171 It's lovely. Goodnight. 62 00:03:26,173 --> 00:03:27,606 When you said you'd take me home tonight 63 00:03:27,608 --> 00:03:30,008 I assumed...you meant your home. 64 00:03:30,811 --> 00:03:33,245 Well, why would you.. 65 00:03:33,247 --> 00:03:35,847 I mean, what made you think that? 66 00:03:37,051 --> 00:03:40,052 I just assumed you invited me home to dinner. 67 00:03:40,054 --> 00:03:41,486 Oh. 68 00:03:41,488 --> 00:03:43,121 Oh, no, that's okay. 69 00:03:43,123 --> 00:03:46,258 I'm getting pretty good at making macaroni and cheese. 70 00:03:46,260 --> 00:03:48,193 I'll get better when they fix my stove. 71 00:03:50,631 --> 00:03:53,465 I remember home cooked meals with my folks.. 72 00:03:53,467 --> 00:03:55,400 ...when they were still alive. 73 00:03:55,402 --> 00:03:57,069 Boy.. 74 00:03:57,071 --> 00:04:00,272 You just never appreciate stuff like that until it's gone. 75 00:04:01,842 --> 00:04:03,709 You know, ordinarily 76 00:04:03,711 --> 00:04:07,346 I'd love to invite you, Jim-bo. 77 00:04:07,348 --> 00:04:10,916 - But-- - Oh, no, I'd never impose! 78 00:04:10,918 --> 00:04:13,252 It's against the orphans' creed. 79 00:04:20,060 --> 00:04:22,794 - I don't suppose you-- - Love to. 80 00:04:22,796 --> 00:04:24,863 Can I bring a can or something? 81 00:04:27,534 --> 00:04:29,334 [instrumental music] 82 00:04:32,573 --> 00:04:34,706 - How's it going? - Lousy. 83 00:04:34,708 --> 00:04:36,441 I'm getting a lot of static 84 00:04:36,443 --> 00:04:39,444 and for once, it's not coming from Kate. Ha! 85 00:04:40,614 --> 00:04:43,415 Ha ha! 86 00:04:43,417 --> 00:04:45,384 It says here that, "The satellite dish 87 00:04:45,386 --> 00:04:47,085 "must be in an open area 88 00:04:47,087 --> 00:04:49,488 so nothing blocks its signal." 89 00:04:49,490 --> 00:04:50,989 Then there's only one solution. 90 00:04:50,991 --> 00:04:53,759 I must tear down the garage. 91 00:04:55,162 --> 00:04:56,028 Where's dad? 92 00:04:56,030 --> 00:04:57,429 He called a little while ago. 93 00:04:57,431 --> 00:04:59,998 He's bringing Jim Hutchinson home for dinner. 94 00:05:00,000 --> 00:05:01,199 What? 95 00:05:01,201 --> 00:05:03,635 Why didn't you tell me this when he called? 96 00:05:03,637 --> 00:05:05,971 I thought it would give you less time to bellyache. 97 00:05:07,441 --> 00:05:09,107 Why don't you bring the portable TV 98 00:05:09,109 --> 00:05:10,909 out to the garage with you? 99 00:05:10,911 --> 00:05:12,477 What's the point? 100 00:05:12,479 --> 00:05:15,347 The dish isn't working, Willie promised to help me 101 00:05:15,349 --> 00:05:17,783 and now he's bringing home strays. 102 00:05:19,453 --> 00:05:23,121 You're just lucky we're letting you keep that satellite dish. 103 00:05:23,123 --> 00:05:25,791 Don't use the words, "lucky" and "dish" 104 00:05:25,793 --> 00:05:28,160 in the same sentence unless you mean it. 105 00:05:29,396 --> 00:05:30,529 [horn honking] 106 00:05:30,531 --> 00:05:31,897 Dad's home. 107 00:05:32,566 --> 00:05:34,633 - ALF? - What? 108 00:05:34,635 --> 00:05:35,701 The garage? 109 00:05:35,703 --> 00:05:37,736 Objection. 110 00:05:37,738 --> 00:05:39,237 Overruled. 111 00:05:41,241 --> 00:05:43,175 However, it was Mark Twain's contention 112 00:05:43,177 --> 00:05:44,943 that in heaven there is no humor 113 00:05:44,945 --> 00:05:46,878 due to the fact that humor comes from pain. 114 00:05:46,880 --> 00:05:47,979 Since there is no pain in heaven 115 00:05:47,981 --> 00:05:49,448 then there must be no humor. 116 00:05:49,450 --> 00:05:51,950 Mark Twain's real name was Samuel Clemens. 117 00:05:54,054 --> 00:05:55,954 Oh, you've stopped. 118 00:05:58,992 --> 00:06:01,226 Hi, everyone. This is Jim. 119 00:06:01,228 --> 00:06:03,995 - Jimbo. - Jim-bo. 120 00:06:03,997 --> 00:06:05,764 Jimbo, this is my family. 121 00:06:05,766 --> 00:06:07,933 This is Kate and Lynn and Brian. 122 00:06:07,935 --> 00:06:09,334 - Hello. - Hi. 123 00:06:09,336 --> 00:06:10,569 Hi, Mr. Jimbo. 124 00:06:15,242 --> 00:06:16,274 Uh.. 125 00:06:18,545 --> 00:06:22,381 We sometimes loan our cable hook-up to the neighbors. 126 00:06:25,185 --> 00:06:27,786 Dinner's ready. Grab a chair. 127 00:06:27,788 --> 00:06:29,788 Thanks. 128 00:06:29,790 --> 00:06:34,159 Look, uh, if I'm imposing in the least, I'll leave. 129 00:06:34,161 --> 00:06:35,994 I'm used to eating alone. 130 00:06:35,996 --> 00:06:37,929 I'm an orphan. 131 00:06:37,931 --> 00:06:40,031 Oh, I'm sorry to hear that. 132 00:06:40,033 --> 00:06:42,334 Most people are. 133 00:06:42,336 --> 00:06:44,603 And no, you're not imposing in the least. 134 00:06:45,806 --> 00:06:48,173 Are you from around here, Jimbo? 135 00:06:48,175 --> 00:06:49,708 I was born in Seattle. 136 00:06:49,710 --> 00:06:53,178 I attended school, graduating in 1974 from NYU. 137 00:06:53,180 --> 00:06:54,513 'I worked in record promotions' 138 00:06:54,515 --> 00:06:57,115 'prior to my current job at Social Services.' 139 00:06:57,117 --> 00:06:59,284 'My hobbies are saving whales..' 140 00:07:03,724 --> 00:07:05,424 Hi, ALF. 141 00:07:05,426 --> 00:07:06,591 Yeah. 142 00:07:08,495 --> 00:07:12,230 I.. I wanted to apologize for not being to help 143 00:07:12,232 --> 00:07:14,099 you setup the satellite dish. 144 00:07:14,101 --> 00:07:18,370 You know, I never really meant to invite Jimbo over. 145 00:07:18,372 --> 00:07:20,605 You brought home an elephant for dinner? 146 00:07:22,176 --> 00:07:25,343 I said Jimbo...not Jumbo. 147 00:07:26,914 --> 00:07:28,346 How's the dish working? 148 00:07:28,348 --> 00:07:30,882 Better since I hauled it up on the roof.. 149 00:07:30,884 --> 00:07:32,884 ...by myself. 150 00:07:32,886 --> 00:07:36,188 Never mind that I almost threw out my back. 151 00:07:36,190 --> 00:07:39,524 Stop trying to make me feel guilty, ALF. 152 00:07:39,526 --> 00:07:41,259 I'm not. 153 00:07:41,261 --> 00:07:43,695 By the way, sorry about your wheelbarrow. 154 00:07:43,697 --> 00:07:46,264 I landed on it when I fell off the roof. 155 00:07:47,468 --> 00:07:50,635 You're not going to make me feel guilty. 156 00:07:50,637 --> 00:07:53,205 I'm not trying to. 157 00:07:53,207 --> 00:07:56,174 But I'm sure the electric shock I got when I plugged the dish in 158 00:07:56,176 --> 00:08:00,312 only took, what, 80, 90 years off my life? 159 00:08:01,482 --> 00:08:03,381 Okay, I feel guilty. 160 00:08:04,685 --> 00:08:06,618 Something I said? 161 00:08:11,325 --> 00:08:12,891 Another thing I'll bet you didn't know 162 00:08:12,893 --> 00:08:16,528 Columbia, South America is completely East of Florida. 163 00:08:16,530 --> 00:08:18,196 And the Atlantic end of the Panama Canal 164 00:08:18,198 --> 00:08:20,532 is West of the Pacific end. 165 00:08:22,803 --> 00:08:25,036 I had no idea. 166 00:08:25,038 --> 00:08:27,172 - Kate, did you? - Mm-mm. 167 00:08:27,174 --> 00:08:30,008 - Lynn? - Mm-mm. 168 00:08:30,010 --> 00:08:32,310 We had no idea. 169 00:08:35,249 --> 00:08:37,115 It's your bedtime, Lynnie. 170 00:08:37,117 --> 00:08:38,450 Oh, thank you. 171 00:08:38,452 --> 00:08:40,552 - Goodnight. - Goodnight. 172 00:08:40,554 --> 00:08:44,289 Gosh! Look, Jimbo, look how late it is. 173 00:08:44,291 --> 00:08:48,560 You're right. There's a great Senate Filibuster on C-SPAN. 174 00:08:48,562 --> 00:08:51,196 You think we can get the cable back from your neighbors? 175 00:08:52,499 --> 00:08:54,566 We'll see if they're still up. 176 00:08:55,569 --> 00:08:58,303 They usually go to bed at a decent hour. 177 00:08:58,305 --> 00:08:59,604 Thanks. 178 00:09:02,943 --> 00:09:05,043 ALF! 179 00:09:05,045 --> 00:09:07,212 How long have you been out here? 180 00:09:07,214 --> 00:09:09,948 Long enough to hate little Orphan Whiney 181 00:09:09,950 --> 00:09:12,384 with every fiber of my being. 182 00:09:13,654 --> 00:09:16,521 It's not his fault he's an orphan. 183 00:09:16,523 --> 00:09:19,524 Wanna bet? He probably bored his parents to death. 184 00:09:20,661 --> 00:09:24,296 Honey, it is time for him to go home. 185 00:09:24,298 --> 00:09:25,864 I'm trying, Kate. 186 00:09:25,866 --> 00:09:28,266 The man cannot take a hint. 187 00:09:28,268 --> 00:09:31,736 See if he can take a swift kick in the butt. 188 00:09:31,738 --> 00:09:34,406 Alright, he's taken advantage of us long enough. 189 00:09:34,408 --> 00:09:36,975 I'm just gonna have to be firm with him. 190 00:09:36,977 --> 00:09:39,277 Firm? Ooh! 191 00:09:39,279 --> 00:09:40,545 I haven't seen you this worked up 192 00:09:40,547 --> 00:09:43,214 since the time you were adamant. 193 00:09:47,120 --> 00:09:49,120 Too rough? 194 00:09:51,191 --> 00:09:53,024 This is interesting. 195 00:09:53,026 --> 00:09:54,292 'Did you know your satellite dish' 196 00:09:54,294 --> 00:09:56,261 'operates at a frequency of four gigahertz' 197 00:09:56,263 --> 00:09:57,562 as opposed to the infrared band 198 00:09:57,564 --> 00:09:59,798 which is considerably higher on the spectrum. 199 00:10:02,002 --> 00:10:03,868 It's very late. 200 00:10:03,870 --> 00:10:05,470 I know it is. 201 00:10:05,472 --> 00:10:07,172 And I'm sure you're tired. 202 00:10:07,174 --> 00:10:09,908 Well, as a matter of fact, I am. 203 00:10:09,910 --> 00:10:12,110 So, you don't have to bother about driving me home. 204 00:10:12,112 --> 00:10:14,212 Just give me your keys, I'll sleep in the car. 205 00:10:15,816 --> 00:10:17,515 We couldn't let you do that. 206 00:10:17,517 --> 00:10:20,018 No, really, I'll be fine. 207 00:10:20,020 --> 00:10:21,753 It'll be nice and quiet in your car. 208 00:10:21,755 --> 00:10:23,221 Not like my apartment. 209 00:10:23,223 --> 00:10:25,490 They're building that new freeway, you know? 210 00:10:25,492 --> 00:10:27,225 But the noise is usually drowned out 211 00:10:27,227 --> 00:10:29,227 by the all-night bowling alley. 212 00:10:30,297 --> 00:10:32,464 Well, then, of course.. 213 00:10:32,466 --> 00:10:35,233 You can always spend the night here. 214 00:10:35,235 --> 00:10:37,302 Only if I'm not imposing. 215 00:10:39,406 --> 00:10:41,072 We can put Brian in with Lynn 216 00:10:41,074 --> 00:10:43,375 and, uh, you can have his room. 217 00:10:43,377 --> 00:10:46,311 You folks have been so nice to me. 218 00:10:46,313 --> 00:10:48,046 Can I level with you? 219 00:10:48,048 --> 00:10:49,748 I guess. 220 00:10:51,818 --> 00:10:54,319 My name is not really Jim, it's Steve. 221 00:10:55,288 --> 00:10:57,355 Goodnight, Steve. 222 00:10:57,357 --> 00:11:00,558 Please, call me Steve-O-Rino. 223 00:11:00,560 --> 00:11:02,627 Goodnight, Steve-O-Rino. 224 00:11:02,629 --> 00:11:04,162 You know 225 00:11:04,164 --> 00:11:06,197 I am glad you didn't ask me 226 00:11:06,199 --> 00:11:08,066 why I don't go by my real name 227 00:11:08,068 --> 00:11:09,901 because I can't tell you. 228 00:11:11,104 --> 00:11:12,737 I wish I could 229 00:11:12,739 --> 00:11:15,440 because it's a really great story, but.. 230 00:11:15,442 --> 00:11:17,108 They told me I couldn't. 231 00:11:17,110 --> 00:11:18,677 Well, I shouldn't. 232 00:11:18,679 --> 00:11:20,712 But I could. 233 00:11:20,714 --> 00:11:23,081 Since you handled the name thing so well. 234 00:11:23,083 --> 00:11:24,883 Okay, I'll tell you. 235 00:11:27,754 --> 00:11:29,120 How long? 236 00:11:29,122 --> 00:11:30,722 Not long. 237 00:11:31,792 --> 00:11:32,957 Have you ever heard 238 00:11:32,959 --> 00:11:35,427 of the Federal Witness Protection Program? 239 00:11:35,429 --> 00:11:37,362 Yes, they give new identities 240 00:11:37,364 --> 00:11:39,964 to people who have testified in trials. 241 00:11:39,966 --> 00:11:41,766 You're in that program? 242 00:11:41,768 --> 00:11:44,469 I can't really say. 243 00:11:44,471 --> 00:11:45,770 Yes. 244 00:11:45,772 --> 00:11:47,772 I testified against some counterfeiters. 245 00:11:47,774 --> 00:11:50,442 Nailed them good. They've been looking for me ever since. 246 00:11:50,444 --> 00:11:52,577 Oh, where's the john? 247 00:11:53,780 --> 00:11:55,847 Right this way, Jim. 248 00:11:55,849 --> 00:11:59,217 Uh, Steve...O-Rino. 249 00:12:02,656 --> 00:12:06,825 You're not seriously gonna let Scarface stay here, are you? 250 00:12:06,827 --> 00:12:10,528 He's not a criminal. He's a witness. 251 00:12:10,530 --> 00:12:13,231 What if the mob finds him here? 252 00:12:13,233 --> 00:12:15,600 They'll blow us up in our sedan! 253 00:12:16,703 --> 00:12:19,604 There is no mob in this neighborhood. 254 00:12:19,606 --> 00:12:21,806 And of course they couldn't just drive 255 00:12:21,808 --> 00:12:24,876 into this neighborhood in their sedans. 256 00:12:26,046 --> 00:12:27,746 Goodnight, ALF. 257 00:12:27,748 --> 00:12:29,614 Wait, you can't go to bed, Willie. 258 00:12:29,616 --> 00:12:31,416 You have to stay awake and protect us 259 00:12:31,418 --> 00:12:34,552 from a sedan-related death. 260 00:12:36,223 --> 00:12:37,956 If you're that concerned 261 00:12:37,958 --> 00:12:41,693 why don't you stay up? 262 00:12:41,695 --> 00:12:45,663 Immediately I realize the folly of that statement. 263 00:12:47,033 --> 00:12:48,666 Go to the garage. 264 00:12:48,668 --> 00:12:51,870 And wake up with Mr. Ed's head in my bed? 265 00:12:56,209 --> 00:12:58,009 I think not. 266 00:13:08,255 --> 00:13:11,055 This is the city. 267 00:13:11,057 --> 00:13:13,958 Los Angeles, California. 268 00:13:13,960 --> 00:13:17,695 I was working the night watch out of the backyard. 269 00:13:17,697 --> 00:13:19,330 Today is Friday. 270 00:13:19,332 --> 00:13:21,699 My name is ALF. 271 00:13:21,701 --> 00:13:23,968 I carry a bat. 272 00:13:23,970 --> 00:13:25,036 [leaves rustling] 273 00:13:26,273 --> 00:13:29,941 Whoa, someone's lurking in the bushes. 274 00:13:31,745 --> 00:13:34,145 [meowing] 275 00:13:34,147 --> 00:13:36,414 Cat burglar. 276 00:13:36,416 --> 00:13:37,816 [man screaming] 277 00:13:38,919 --> 00:13:41,719 Wha.. Oh, an intruder! 278 00:13:44,891 --> 00:13:46,257 [screaming] 279 00:13:46,259 --> 00:13:49,527 Oh! Oh! Ow! ALF, no! 280 00:13:49,529 --> 00:13:51,429 ALF, what are you doing? 281 00:13:51,431 --> 00:13:54,199 Protecting the family from murderers! 282 00:13:54,201 --> 00:13:58,336 You were the last person I would have suspected, Willie. 283 00:13:58,338 --> 00:14:01,873 [groans] I'm not a murderer.. 284 00:14:01,875 --> 00:14:03,541 ...yet! 285 00:14:03,543 --> 00:14:05,276 Yeah, maybe I should come back 286 00:14:05,278 --> 00:14:07,045 when you're in a better mood. 287 00:14:08,315 --> 00:14:10,615 Get me down from here! 288 00:14:10,617 --> 00:14:13,618 (Trevor) 'Hey, Tanner, is that you?' 289 00:14:17,090 --> 00:14:19,724 Trevor, what I'm doing.. 290 00:14:20,493 --> 00:14:22,060 ...is very complicated 291 00:14:22,062 --> 00:14:24,495 and it requires all my concentration. 292 00:14:24,497 --> 00:14:27,131 So if you'd please care to come back later 293 00:14:27,133 --> 00:14:29,834 I'd be happy to answer any questions at that time. 294 00:14:29,836 --> 00:14:31,936 Thank you, and goodnight. 295 00:14:31,938 --> 00:14:33,071 Goodnight. 296 00:14:36,309 --> 00:14:39,510 Get me down! 297 00:14:39,512 --> 00:14:41,379 Okay, okay. 298 00:14:45,919 --> 00:14:47,986 [Willie slamming] 299 00:14:47,988 --> 00:14:50,488 [groaning] 300 00:14:53,293 --> 00:14:56,194 ALF, would you come over here for a minute? 301 00:14:56,196 --> 00:14:57,595 Uh-uh. 302 00:14:57,597 --> 00:14:59,297 Would you just.. Would you mind just coming.. 303 00:14:59,299 --> 00:15:01,466 Coming here just within my reach, please? 304 00:15:01,468 --> 00:15:03,668 You appear to be at the end of my rope. 305 00:15:06,539 --> 00:15:10,141 I thought I told you to go to bed! 306 00:15:10,143 --> 00:15:13,444 Willie, one of us has to insure domestic tranquility. 307 00:15:13,446 --> 00:15:16,547 And provide for the common defense. 308 00:15:16,549 --> 00:15:20,151 Besides, you didn't say, "Simon says". 309 00:15:23,223 --> 00:15:24,589 [snoring] 310 00:15:24,591 --> 00:15:25,890 [car door closes] 311 00:15:28,061 --> 00:15:29,594 What.. Oh. 312 00:15:29,596 --> 00:15:31,896 A stranger approacheth. 313 00:15:34,134 --> 00:15:35,700 Steady, ALF. 314 00:15:35,702 --> 00:15:37,402 Steady. 315 00:15:37,404 --> 00:15:39,570 Don't soil yourself. 316 00:15:58,425 --> 00:15:59,657 [screams] 317 00:16:01,161 --> 00:16:03,962 Behold. Excalibur. 318 00:16:05,165 --> 00:16:07,065 ALF? What was that? 319 00:16:07,067 --> 00:16:11,102 Willie, you're just in time. I caught a murderer. 320 00:16:11,104 --> 00:16:12,136 [Willie gasps] 321 00:16:15,275 --> 00:16:17,208 Don't mention it. 322 00:16:17,210 --> 00:16:19,210 He's out cold. 323 00:16:19,212 --> 00:16:21,913 My guess would be that he hit his head on your sewer pipe. 324 00:16:23,116 --> 00:16:24,916 What's going on, ALF? 325 00:16:25,952 --> 00:16:27,819 Hero ALF. 326 00:16:29,155 --> 00:16:30,888 Why is dad going through the pockets 327 00:16:30,890 --> 00:16:33,658 of man in a hole in our backyard at night? 328 00:16:33,660 --> 00:16:35,893 Because we have an alien. 329 00:16:35,895 --> 00:16:37,161 Oh, right. 330 00:16:38,164 --> 00:16:39,630 What are you looking for? 331 00:16:39,632 --> 00:16:41,265 His wallet. 332 00:16:41,267 --> 00:16:44,736 Okay, but we split 50/50. 333 00:16:46,873 --> 00:16:49,674 I am looking for identification! 334 00:16:50,577 --> 00:16:52,443 You're wasting your time. 335 00:16:52,445 --> 00:16:55,780 No criminal's gonna carry ID on him. 336 00:16:57,150 --> 00:16:59,617 Unless he's an FBI agent. 337 00:17:00,820 --> 00:17:02,220 ALF! 338 00:17:02,222 --> 00:17:03,621 [gasps] 339 00:17:04,657 --> 00:17:07,859 I disavow any knowledge of my actions. 340 00:17:07,861 --> 00:17:09,193 Bye! 341 00:17:12,298 --> 00:17:14,032 Dad, do you think he's okay? 342 00:17:14,034 --> 00:17:17,568 Well, other than that unsettling grin on his face 343 00:17:17,570 --> 00:17:19,570 he seems to be fine. 344 00:17:21,141 --> 00:17:22,573 I should tell Jimbo. 345 00:17:22,575 --> 00:17:24,175 Come on, Lynnie. 346 00:17:28,114 --> 00:17:29,614 You have to help me! 347 00:17:29,616 --> 00:17:33,084 Don't let this G-man take me away! 348 00:17:33,086 --> 00:17:35,720 What do you suggest? 349 00:17:35,722 --> 00:17:39,624 Well, I can't take the rap and you shouldn't have to. 350 00:17:40,460 --> 00:17:42,493 How about Kate? 351 00:17:42,495 --> 00:17:44,662 [sighs] Oh, ALF. 352 00:17:45,532 --> 00:17:48,232 Just thinking out loud. 353 00:17:48,234 --> 00:17:50,034 How about Kate's mother? 354 00:17:51,404 --> 00:17:53,337 Forget it. I'm calling a doctor. 355 00:17:53,339 --> 00:17:55,606 [car door opens] What's that? 356 00:17:55,608 --> 00:17:57,141 [car door closes] 357 00:17:57,143 --> 00:18:00,144 It's, uh...it's a sedan. 358 00:18:01,548 --> 00:18:04,082 It's the mob! 359 00:18:04,084 --> 00:18:05,249 [knock on door] 360 00:18:05,251 --> 00:18:06,884 May I help you? 361 00:18:06,886 --> 00:18:09,787 (male 'FBI may we come in?' 362 00:18:09,789 --> 00:18:11,956 Willie, don't be a hero! 363 00:18:11,958 --> 00:18:14,859 Don't be a fool with your life! 364 00:18:17,063 --> 00:18:19,063 Could I see some identification, please? 365 00:18:19,065 --> 00:18:20,731 Yes, sir. 366 00:18:22,669 --> 00:18:24,235 They've got their ID. 367 00:18:24,237 --> 00:18:25,770 Oh. 368 00:18:25,772 --> 00:18:29,073 Well, I can't let you go to jail for something I did.. 369 00:18:29,075 --> 00:18:30,341 ...again. 370 00:18:31,778 --> 00:18:33,978 Which way is South America? 371 00:18:33,980 --> 00:18:35,246 [knock on door] 372 00:18:35,248 --> 00:18:36,647 Adios. 373 00:18:39,486 --> 00:18:41,119 We're looking for Jim Hutchinson. 374 00:18:41,121 --> 00:18:41,986 Is he here? 375 00:18:41,988 --> 00:18:44,455 Yeah, he'll be out in a second. 376 00:18:44,457 --> 00:18:45,756 Who's this? 377 00:18:45,758 --> 00:18:48,893 Oh, he's-he's one of your men. 378 00:18:49,929 --> 00:18:52,797 Willie? What's-what's going on? 379 00:18:52,799 --> 00:18:55,133 Well, there's more FBI now. 380 00:18:56,236 --> 00:18:57,869 Oh. Nice to meet you. 381 00:18:57,871 --> 00:19:00,671 Please don't take my husband away. 382 00:19:00,673 --> 00:19:04,675 Honey, iksnay on the A-L-Jay. 383 00:19:05,512 --> 00:19:07,211 This ID's a fake. 384 00:19:09,048 --> 00:19:10,448 Hi, guys! 385 00:19:10,450 --> 00:19:13,417 Hi, Jim. Jimbo. 386 00:19:13,419 --> 00:19:15,620 Can we talk privately? 387 00:19:15,622 --> 00:19:18,623 Hey, it's okay, they know all about me. 388 00:19:18,625 --> 00:19:20,925 You told some more people? 389 00:19:20,927 --> 00:19:23,561 Why don't you just buy airtime on the Super Bowl? 390 00:19:23,563 --> 00:19:25,263 [chuckles] 391 00:19:25,265 --> 00:19:26,864 He's the funny one. 392 00:19:26,866 --> 00:19:29,033 We just found out the Cleveland syndicate's 393 00:19:29,035 --> 00:19:30,134 lookin' for you. 394 00:19:30,136 --> 00:19:32,570 This must be the guy they sent. 395 00:19:32,572 --> 00:19:33,971 They must have made up this fake ID 396 00:19:33,973 --> 00:19:35,806 in order to trick Jim.. 397 00:19:35,808 --> 00:19:38,176 Jimbo into going with him. 398 00:19:39,946 --> 00:19:42,280 Shouldn't you be arresting him about now or something? 399 00:19:42,282 --> 00:19:44,348 Yes, ma'am, under the circumstances 400 00:19:44,350 --> 00:19:46,717 I think it's best we take both of them. 401 00:19:46,719 --> 00:19:48,753 Fine. 402 00:19:48,755 --> 00:19:52,323 Not that we haven't enjoyed having Jimbo stay over. 403 00:19:52,325 --> 00:19:53,724 Thanks. 404 00:19:53,726 --> 00:19:55,493 For everything. 405 00:19:55,495 --> 00:19:56,827 You're the first person I ever knew 406 00:19:56,829 --> 00:19:58,829 who overlooked my many faults 407 00:19:58,831 --> 00:20:01,365 and accepted me for what I am. 408 00:20:01,367 --> 00:20:03,067 I'm gonna miss you, Willie. 409 00:20:04,304 --> 00:20:07,338 But they say friendship is like an iceberg. 410 00:20:07,340 --> 00:20:09,674 You can't tell by what's above the surface 411 00:20:09,676 --> 00:20:11,375 just how deep it goes. 412 00:20:12,645 --> 00:20:14,412 Did you know the Titanic's hull 413 00:20:14,414 --> 00:20:17,682 was separated into 16 watertight compartments? 414 00:20:17,684 --> 00:20:19,684 Write him a letter. 415 00:20:31,397 --> 00:20:32,430 ALF? 416 00:20:32,432 --> 00:20:35,166 ALF? Where are you? 417 00:20:35,168 --> 00:20:36,734 Maybe he's in the garage. 418 00:20:36,736 --> 00:20:38,903 (ALF) 'Ah, oh, ow!' 419 00:20:41,107 --> 00:20:43,641 Oh, ah. 420 00:20:43,643 --> 00:20:45,409 Stupid pipe! 421 00:20:46,446 --> 00:20:48,379 ALF, guess what? 422 00:20:48,381 --> 00:20:52,049 For once your overreacting actually paid off. 423 00:20:52,051 --> 00:20:55,453 That guy you caught really was a crook! 424 00:20:55,455 --> 00:20:58,689 As it turns out, you are a hero! 425 00:20:58,691 --> 00:21:00,391 Well, that's nice. 426 00:21:00,393 --> 00:21:02,226 Really great. 427 00:21:02,228 --> 00:21:03,694 Just one question. 428 00:21:03,696 --> 00:21:05,696 Yeah? 429 00:21:05,698 --> 00:21:07,965 Who are you people? 430 00:21:15,575 --> 00:21:17,742 For meritorious service 431 00:21:17,744 --> 00:21:20,411 above and beyond the call of duty 432 00:21:20,413 --> 00:21:24,081 we hereby present to you the Tanner Medal of Honor. 433 00:21:24,083 --> 00:21:25,816 (Kate) 'Hear, hear!' 434 00:21:25,818 --> 00:21:28,019 Yay, ALF! 435 00:21:28,021 --> 00:21:30,321 My hero. 436 00:21:30,323 --> 00:21:31,522 Shucks, folks. 437 00:21:31,524 --> 00:21:34,392 I'm speechless...almost. 438 00:21:35,862 --> 00:21:39,063 "One score and 12 years ago 439 00:21:39,065 --> 00:21:41,999 "My parents brought forth a new hero 440 00:21:42,001 --> 00:21:44,435 conceived in a De Soto, and dedicated--" 441 00:21:44,437 --> 00:21:47,938 ALF. ALF, wrap it up or we take the medal back. 442 00:21:49,375 --> 00:21:50,808 "As God as my witness 443 00:21:50,810 --> 00:21:53,444 I'll never be hungry again." Thank you. 444 00:21:56,316 --> 00:22:01,419 And now, Kate, how about making me a hero sandwich? 445 00:22:01,421 --> 00:22:03,487 [laughing] 446 00:22:03,489 --> 00:22:05,056 [knock on door] 447 00:22:10,530 --> 00:22:13,331 Does this belong to you? 448 00:22:13,333 --> 00:22:15,166 I believe so, yes. 449 00:22:15,168 --> 00:22:17,968 You got something I could cut Raquel down with? 450 00:22:19,839 --> 00:22:21,505 I think there's something in the garage. 451 00:22:21,507 --> 00:22:23,207 I'll help you. 452 00:22:23,209 --> 00:22:25,309 If you don't want people taking avocados from your tree 453 00:22:25,311 --> 00:22:27,011 just say so. 454 00:22:36,522 --> 00:22:38,356 Last trap, I promise. 455 00:22:43,629 --> 00:22:46,530 [theme music] 456 00:23:07,553 --> 00:23:09,353 [music continues] 457 00:23:10,390 --> 00:23:12,890 [laughing]